self-preservation

define SELF-PRESERVATION.

according to me, SELF-PRESERVATION (n.) is an act of avoiding and/or feigning annoyance or indifference (towards a person or a situation) to keep the self from becoming more and more emotionally attached. usually, the attachment here is perceived as inappropriate.

in a sentence: "___, I think I shouldn't hangout with you as often. I might fall and fall hard. I sure don't want to get hurt. Might as well stay away... It's a self-preservation thing."

i am mamaru.
and i just found out
that this self-preservation thing
is actually heartbreaking...

nostalgia.

dear little one,

i saw your picture posted on the Web today. you are such a charming little tot. :) your features are a combination of your parents'. i think most of the charm that you exude, though, came from your dad. i guess a lot of people already told you that you have your daddy's beautiful almond-shaped eyes. i recognize the same droop and the long lashes because many years back, i looked deeply into your father's entrancing eyes.

you are beautiful, kid. you are a testament of your father's unshakable love for your mother, and of your mother's unfaltering faith in that love.

may you grow up to be just like your father - smart, very artistic, strong-willed, faithful... but when you're bigger, say 20-something or older, please try your best not to break a girl's heart. do not look at her intently, say "i cannot leave you behind..." and then just walk away... because you see, my dear, the pain that that moment brought is something that nobody would want to suffer.

anyway, take good care of your mom and dad. knowing them, i'm pretty sure that they are giving their all to become the best parents they can be to you. :)

xo,
your dad's little miss

i am mamaru.
and i know that i fell
(in many different ways one could fall)
a long time ago.